It hurts.
Ouch. Just, ouch. I CAN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING. I don’t even know what I’m typing. This is just too much. It always feels like it’s just too much. There are so many things I wish you knew. SO many nights I’ve stared at my ceiling just DREAMING of the things I would tell you, if I could. If I only could. I gave you everything. I gave you all of me, every single piece of WHO I AM AND WHO I WAS. I gave it all away. To you. And it’s just so empty and it just hurts so badly that these words I’m furiously typing are nothing but that. Words. Words on a screen. And they don’t mean a thing, because you’ll never care. You’ll never read this, you’ll never FEEL this. And those feelings that kept my going for so long…they’re gone. Because you’re gone. You know that feeling? When you feel like half of you was ripped out of your body? I do. And I thought I was past this, but how can I be? I’ll always love you. But I never will.
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